i wish

i had the guts. 

i want

Nikon D3x SLR.

24.5 megapixels.

$8,500+ is the cheapest i've found it.

Time to start saving. 

i don't know where

stereotypical views got so mixed up, but somewhere along the line they did. 

the typical australian kid is a rude outspoken juvenile simply looking for trouble.

and if you do not fit these characteristics, you are un australian.

the typical teenage girl wears clothes from the department stores that magazines tell them to shop at, they wear clothes that leave very little to the imagination and have sex with guys five years older than them that they don't ever intend on seeing again.

if your none of this, your completely outcasted. 

clothes, religion, sexuality, lifestyle choices and recreational activities, do not determine a person. 

i don't understand how somebody is 'weird' because they don't want to join the army of humans, that are all the same.

i hate waiting.

this is taking too long. 

it seems

i've hit a wall of self realization. 

that everyone i've ever cared for has eventually walked out. 

and that every time this happens, a whole new group of people walk in, just so they can walk back out.

i'm over losing everyone.

and i'm over trying to keep everyone from leaving.

i'm not going to put in the effort with people anymore, if your willing to form any type of relationship with me - you put in the effort. you try to capture and withhold my attention, you keep in touch with me and you change my mind about this whole thing.

because it seems to me that, relationships of any form are more complex than rubix cubes and it takes more than one person to make them work.